He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize