Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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