Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize