When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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