I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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