why didn't you poke me back
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize