Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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