On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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