Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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