last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
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Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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