You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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