I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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