i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize