I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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