This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize