just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize