Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
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There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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