I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize