is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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