I wish I only lived at night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize