How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she woke up with a sticky ear
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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