How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
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I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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