Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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