I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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