By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
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When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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