i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
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michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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