Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
honey bunches of taint.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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