you would pick up someone in the library
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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