Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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