The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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