So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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