she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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