Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
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Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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