Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize