I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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