i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
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THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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