I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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