his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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