last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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