Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize