she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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