Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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