your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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