Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize