2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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