i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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