How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize