so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize