We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My vagina is officially offended.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize