OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize